Tonight, tonight

Holy shit biscuits! I only have 4 more days here. That is insanity. I still have no clue who my new supervisor is, what my transition shift is, or what my shift will be for the next 6 months. I hate it when there are so many loose ends and no sign that any of these questions will be answered without a lot of me bothering other people. I have to end up being really annoying and demanding that people respond to my inquiries or shit just never gets done.

I thought I was going to have some sad feelings about leaving California. I figured it would be bittersweet, but to be honest I cannot wait to get the hell out of here. Not in a negative or mean way, but thank goodness I don’t have to spend any more time here. I have so much waiting for me back home. I will miss my friends I have made here.

I made a trip to San Diego this weekend (my weekend). It was phenomenal! It was some much needed sister time and I hardly ever get to see my sister’s friend, Layne. We all saw Peter Pan at the Civic Theatre. Cathy Rigby is ridiculous! That woman is 60 years old and still doing back flips and summersaults and flying through the air on a string. The show wasn’t that great, but it brought back a lot of wonderful childhood nostalgia and that made it worth it. It was a great way to spend my last two days off here. Now I am lying in bed, flippin exhausted.

Work will be a breeze for the next three days because I have all of my surveys for the week. (Something only my Verizon crew will understand). I just kinda need to sit back and coast through my calls and daydream about a bet I made with my guy back home….

I just wanna be a woman

HOLY CRAP! (said like Peter Griffin) a week and 4 days until I am done with the Irvine call center. It’s totally surreal, but that only means that it’s a week and 5 days til I see my honey!!! :) <3 I can’t wait to hug him and kiss him. I have missed him so badly, it’s been ridiculous.

Getting through these next three days is going to be hell with the overtime (why did I flex??), but it will keep my occupied. Tuesday I drive with the lovely miss Layne down to San Diego to see my sister and watch Peter Pan. Can’t wait! After that it’s 4 days of work and then my mom and aunt drive in to help me with my bed. Then it’s sayonara California! It’s been swell….buh bye, don’t forget to write.

This year has been full of experiences. The time away has been invaluable to my growing up and becoming more adult. I have a much different view of the world than when I first came out here. Now it is time to be done, however. There are a lot of things that I love about Cali, but an equal amount of things that piss me off. The bad drivers, the cost of living/groceries/restaurants, some of the people that I have had the misfortune of meeting, etc.

I definitely will miss the beautiful weather, the beaches all within a short drive, the call center environment, my friends, and of course DISNEYLAND. I am going to cry when my year pass runs out. They all pale in comparison to the things that I am gaining….family, love, independence(financially), and a boyfriend that makes me so incredibly happy every single day. This is definitely the right choice. Can’t wait to see what this next year will bring.

Here we go again

Ok so it is official. I’m going back to Arizona y’all!! WHOOP WHOOP! I was smiling like an idiot all day yesterday when I got the news. The dates aren’t official yet, but I am hoping for the end of November. AAH! It’s all happening so fast! The next three weeks are going to be so hard, trying to wait around patiently. At least I will get to go home and see my family for Thanksgiving. Will post more as I know more, but this is it for now…

everybody talks, babe

So for those of you who don’t know, a position opened up in the Chandler call center the day that I came back to California. I applied and now I am going friggin nuts waiting to hear about it! I feel that something very weird is going on…some type of cosmic force has to be in play here. Everything seems to be working out perfectly (not that I want to jinx it). Why am I so lucky lately?

The love of my life and I start talking again after an 8 month separation, I come home for a visit to AZ and we see each other, my doctor tells me that she wants me to take it easy so I get an additional two weeks at home to spend time with him, there hasn’t been an opening at the call center in AZ for months and all of a sudden one comes around, just when the two of us decide we want to be together?

It all just seems to be working out way too well. I am so happy. I don’t want to question it or anything, but I keep marveling at how it all seems to be working out. Someone must really be watching over me and I thank g-d for that.

Now if I can get MetLife to submit my claim correctly so I don’t need to worry about my job, I will be in tip top shape!

I’m going crazy in this big white room of mine

I thought this title was very apropos for my current state of affairs. Also the fact that I friggin LOVE Jessie J and this song. So here’s the deets…still have mono, but body is slowly getting better. Blood tests showed liver is going back to normal and hopefully spleen is too. I have one more doctor to see tomorrow to make a definitive claim that my health is, in fact, on the up and up.

I gotta say, I was pretty scared there for a while. When my friends or family seemed very scared and concerned about it, I shrugged it off and pretended not to be worried. Sometimes it’s better to fool those close to you and keep that burden of worry for yourself. I don’t want anyone to lose sleep over me, especially if it turns out there’s nothing wrong. It did make me take a sort of inventory of my life, though. It was a good time to do this considering it was Yom Kippur (for those of you not in the Heeb clan, it’s a high holy day where you repent your sins and ask forgiveness from G-d and those you’ve wronged).

I really love this time of year. I love how you can reflect on the past year and see what could have been done better. I look forward to it, because it keeps me honest. This year I feel badly though, I didn’t concentrate as much as I should have. I had so many other things on my mind. I was daydreaming in temple of other things; ways I wanted my life to go. I did pray a bit to be a better person overall. I hope this was enough.

Anyway back to the big white room…my parents have put me under house arrest. They say that I cannot leave unless it is the see a doctor. Otherwise I need to be in the house watching tv, reading, or resting. Boo. I guess my body needs it, but dammit! I wanna go out and play!

Everything is going so well right now, though. I am so happy with things. I think everything is going to turn out for the best. I just hope I don’t get big and flabby from all this eating and laying around with no trips to the gym. Eek.

I’m all out of lies and ways to say you died

I have so much to say and yet nothing at all. Everything in my life feels really uncertain right now, but there’s an excitement to it. I am sure I will go back on my word later, but sometimes it’s the anticipation and not knowing what is going to happen in life that makes it worthwhile. Once life happens all you are left with is the result, but you can still have the memories of what led up to it. A few months from now I am going to have forgotten all about how I am feeling now, because life will do what it does and go the way it is going to anyway.

So the mono is slowly fading away thankfully. My spleen still has weird flare ups, but other than that it seems like things are on the up and up. I am not gonna lie…only working 4 hour days has been blissful. I am so much less stressed at work. I come in happy to be at work and I leave feeling the same way. Disneyland in three days!! YESS! Cannot wait. I haven’t been in a few months, which is a big deal for me. I was kinda thinking that once I got my annual pass I would be there at least twice a month. Dang Cali people not owning passes. Tsk tsk. Entertainment and joy at their fingertips and they waste it.

I fly home a week from today. Things have not been good with my granddad. He has been falling down a lot and my grandma has had to call 911 a few times because she couldn’t lift him. I am so happy I will get to see him. It’s been a long time and to be honest I don’t know how much time I have left. I’m trying to keep positive. It’s really easy to stay positive when I am 400 miles away, though and I don’t have to hear every day the ups and downs (more downs than ups lately). I am so worried about my mom, actually. I know she is retired now and she has lots of free time, but she is such a worrier. She stresses and she loses sleep. It’s not healthy. I wish I lived there so I could help her and my aunt out. I feel really guilty being here and not able to do anything.

I have so many people I want to see when I go home. I also want to check out a few apartment complexes…just for the heck of it, ya know? Never know what will happen next. I feel like this trip home will validate a lot of feelings and will put me on the path I am meant to be on. I wish I knew if I believed in fate. I really honestly can’t say. I love the idea of fate as it relates to love <3. I love the idea that two people can have odds against them and if they are meant to be it will find a way to work itself out. I hate the idea of fate for everything else. I am a bit of a control freak and the idea that my life is not in my hands makes me nuts. It almost is like, what’s the point? Everything is going to go how it will go anyway. Now I am just talking out my ass. Am I the only one out there that even thinks of pointless shit like this? I probably am.

Also auditioning for a musical revue at the playhouse the day I leave. Whoo hoo! It’s time to get back into acting, singing, and dancing. I’ve missed a lot of opportunities because of being sick. Hopefully this will work out. Yay!
Peace.

You’ve got me smiling in my sleep

Whew…what a whirlwind month and the month just started! Well, really I should say it’s been a crazy couple of weeks. So I should probably let you loyal readers (yes, all one or two of you) know where in the hell I’ve been. After 5 days and nights of over 100 degree fevers, almost collapsing at work a few times, I finally dragged my sick ass to Urgent Care (biggest waste of money ever). Urgent Care didn’t do or know shit about what was wrong with me so they sent me on over to ER. After waiting 5 hours, being poked and prodded with needles and wires, and peeing in a cup I found out (or rather the doctor did) that I have….*drumroll*

MONO!!! TA DA!!!! **Applause** *bows* Wow thank you so much, I didn’t even have a speech prepared. I suppose I could thank all the people that contributed to my getting this wretched affliction, but honestly I don’t even know how I got it or when. In any event, I must be blessed by God because once the fever broke, my symptoms have been super mild. I am not bedridden, I have lower energy, but I am still able to run grocery shopping with my madre. The only thing that is mildly uncomfortable is my swollen spleen. Apparently your spleen swells when you have mono, go figure. I giggle a little bit every time I say that. I put a lot of emphasis on the lee in spleen. No, this is not a symptom of the disease, I really just am that retarded.

Anyway, in the midst of getting this shitty bit of luck I was forced (with 101.5 fever) to pack up my stuff and move out of my current apartment. That was a trip. I was dazed and delirious by the end of that debacle, but I survived. The thing that made it even more amazing was the timing. The timing actually worked out perfectly. My parents were driving home to AZ on Aug 31st, the exact same day I needed to get my booty out of said apartment. My mom suggested taking me home with her and coddling me for the next few days and nursing me back to health. The car ride actually wasn’t too bad. She drove and I got control of the radio. My most favorite thing in the world! KA-CHING! We actually listened to a lot of showtunes,  Dixie Chicks, and Carole King, singing along to everything of course. Perfection. Ever since getting here I have felt pretty fantastic. My mom did better than her word. Pretty much every whim I had while I was here was met. She was amazing.

I saw the doctor this morning and she advised that I take another two weeks off of work. I say F that. I am too bored to be sitting around doing nothing for another two weeks. Besides my swollen spleen (tee hee) I am in tip top shape. I did however take her up on her offer of letting me work half days. Sounds perfect to me. Working 9:15-1:15pm for the next two weeks? Um, yes please. This way I will feel like a contributing member of society, getting paid minimally, and still having plenty of time to catch up on rest.

Now here comes the part that I am sure we all saw coming a mile away. I love AZ. I miss it here so much. This is my home and where I belong. I don’t belong in Cali. I am excited to be living with my friend and saving mucho on rent for the next few months, but I think the next few months in the OC will be my last. I am going to apply for a transfer back to AZ as soon as I am eligible. I moved to Cali to find myself, grow, and act. I have done all of these things and I am more than satisfied with the outcomes. I am ready for that next chapter, which includes settling down into something that resembles where I want to be for the rest of my life. I am still going to try and stay with the company. I would like to move up the corporate ladder. Maybe I can transfer back here as a Supervisor. At the very least CRT, which takes escalated calls and makes more money. I will do what it takes. I want to be a trainer, that is sadly probably another 5 years away, but we’ll see. Life just seems full of promise and excitement. (Pretty good outlook for a sick bitch eh?)